Pregnant, not planned,

but happy to be?

 

Readers will have noticed that this Site is mainly directed towards those women who live with disability and who plan their pregnancy. We also want this book to be helpful to women with disability/chronic illness who find out that they are pregnant in a circumstance where it was not planned but they are happy to go on with the pregnancy.

 

If you are in this situation you may find you want to speak with someone about your situation as, obviously, it would have been a surprise to discover you are in fact pregnant. Many more women make the decision to continue anunplanned pregnancy (both women with and without disability) than is generally acknowledged by our society, so don’t feel you are alone and “the only one in this situation”.

 

It is true though that many women may decide that they won’t talk about their situation with anyone other than very trusted family and/or friends. That is your right and choice. Discussing your situation with trusted family or friends allows you to make clear for yourself your values and beliefs so that you feel more secure and comfortable with your decision to continue your pregnancy.   

 

No doubt in such a situation there may be a tendency for family and/or friends to pressure or push you one way or the other in regard to the pregnancy, that is, you may come under pressure to have an abortion [end the pregnancy] or to consider adopting [once your baby is born, to give the baby to someone else to raise as their child].

 

Remember to trust yourself and your judgement of yourself and your situation. Having a disability/ chronic illness and being a mum can and do go together.  

 

Look at the other sections of this book for groups which will assist you in your journey of becoming a parent. A number of disability organisations are now setting up programmes to assist young mums who have a disability. There is also the Independent Living Centre [see Chapter 6, index no. 279] which can advise about modifications to building/houses that give shelter to a child/family and/or for devices which may be of help in terms of parenting and with your kind of disability. It will not necessarily be easy but when being a parent is something a woman wants (and hopefully a supportive partner) then she can do it!                                    

 

Telephone: for all options pregnancy decision-making counselling telephone social workers at the Royal Hospital for Women [see Chapter 2 index no. 75 & Chapter 1 index no. 4], your local women’s health centre, or your local community health centre.

 

Words by Margaret Kirkby, Bessie Smyth Foundation